“Dear Wilson, I have recently received a parking breach notice at one of your fine establishments,” his letter read.
“I must say that I am delighted to be issued with this notice for liquidated damages.
“The amount does give me pause, however. The damages total $65, this notice was given at 9:21pm on the 7th of October, 2016, by which time my previously valid ticket had expired four minutes earlier at 9:17pm on the 7th of October 2016.
“Since liquidated damages cannot be punitive, and serve to recoup the revenue you may have lost, had the mostly empty car park at 9:17pm filled up again for no apparent reason, a rough calculation of these liquidated damages might lead one to believe that the cost to administer this parking space is $975 per hour.
“This would mean that a car park in this area, with 100 spaces would incur a cost to Wilson Parking a value comparable to the annual GDP of the independent State of Samoa.”
“If $975 per hour were the true cost to administer a single parking spot in Northbridge, then charging a fee of $7 for two hours parking would truly be an act of charity,”
“I would like to make a counter offer that you should hopefully find more than generous,”.
“We have established that $7 for two hours parking is a reasonable charge, enough to cover costs and make a profit, and that it has been established that my vehicle had spent a total of four minutes in the bay without a valid ticket before your kindly parking enforcement officer issued the Parking Breach Notice.
“I am willing to pay for those four minutes at the calculated rate. $7 over two hours works out to 5.8c per minute, so four minutes totals 23.2c. Please find enclosed the generous offer of 25c in genuine 20c and 5c denominations from the Royal Australian Mint.
“From this point, I consider out debts to be settled. Please do not send me a cheque for the amount of 1.7c.”